Q&A My Betrayed Spouse Wants Me to Contact the Affair Partner. What Should I Do?

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I betrayed my wife and have answered her questions about the affair and provided her with other information she needed to know. We are both in separate counseling sessions, completing the boot camp, reading your materials, subscribed to the Library and listening to blogs. Her sister and brother-in-law know about my unfaithfulness. She has moved into another bedroom, travels when needed and possible and has minimum conversations with me. I understand this because I realize, maybe not fully, the pain and trauma I have caused her. I consistently let her know that I'm sorry and willing to do what it takes for her healing and the rebuilding of our marriage. I spend time each day on your website listening to blogs, getting answers and insight, etc. She is now asking me to locate and let her talk, via phone, with the woman I had an affair with. She says this will help her healing and that I'm selfish in saying no to her request and that my refusal is a deal breaker. It's been more than 2 years since the affair and the woman or no one else is in my life. Contacting the woman would be met with hostility and cause more pain for my wife. I need help in doing the right thing to move us toward the EMS Online course and recovery.



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