Q&A My Husband Is Having a Hard Time Recommitting. What Can I Do?

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My husband had an affair for 2 months while he was overseas for work and continued for 2 more months long distance when he returned home. He finally stopped talking to the affair partner after seeing me go through an immense panic attack. He understand the consequences of his infidelity were traumatizing to me but he does not feel empathy. He doesn't see how he is helping me heal by staying when all he is here for is my recovery and self discovery. At times when he sees me grieve while discussing about his infidelity, he would again ask me if there is a point of staying to help me heal when he feels like he is making me feel worst. After learning exercises to improve the marriage, he understands our marriage is repairable & they are normal marital issues. However, he does not feel he can recommit to the marriage because his mind doesn't want to let go of his affair partner even though he said it is over. His mind keeps wanting to reconnect with her again. He does not feel remorseful or guilty for the pain he caused. He believes by recommitting to the marriage, he would have a lot of work to work on. He is not motivated because his heart is with his affair partner & he feels it is easier to start new rather than fix what is broken. He told me if infidelity did not happen, he would have been able to recommit because he wouldn't have those romantic feelings for someone. Is there anything I can do?



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