Q&A Is Re-Connection Possible for Us?

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Question: 

Feeling no hate and no love. That’s where I am. We are 18 months from the second D-Day and I am starting to address another round of trauma and do EMDR again. I was feeling somewhat connected and had glimmers of hope. Now I’m just sort of blah. I’m starting to feel like the connection is fading. I am working now on another round of trauma that is bringing out a lot of anger and resentment in me. Why did he bring her into our house? Why did he introduce us? Why did he have sex at other times with strangers when our baby was first born? It’s hard to keep myself in a place where I can see the new guy or even want to. It’s hard not feeling like he just “spit in my face” with his actions. I’m hoping that after the trauma work, the thoughts surrounding these things will not evoke so much emotion. Do you see betrayed spouses go through this lull in emotional connection to the unfaithful? We are past the 18-24 month mark. Do you see betrayed spouses bounce back? Is this a sign that maybe somewhere in me my decision is made? Could I just be kidding myself that I want to reconcile? I don’t want to keep continuing to drag us both through this hell of emotions if it’s for nothing.

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