Q&A Should I Ask My Husband to Email His Affair Partner to Defend Me?

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Question: 

Hi Rick, About a month ago I sent one of my husband's APs a text that was actually kind. In a nutshell it asked her to consider her actions going forward and to consider getting help for understanding why she chooses to participate in the behaviors that she does. Last week my husband received an email from her that was basically telling him to tell me to back off or she'd come back with vengeance. I understand that she's not healthy so isn't in a place where she can respond reasonably. But my issue lies in my husband's response. Instead of defending me at all he simply answered "I'll talk to her". He says that he was anxious that she'd even emailed him and that he just wanted her to go away. I understand that. But as some time has passed I feel more and more betrayed by the lack of defense shown by my husband. I feel as though the "last word" was my husband validating her unkind words toward me. This leaves me feeling unwanted, unchosen and sad. My question is; does this mean that my husband does in fact feel that I am not worthy of defending? Do I ask my husband to email her defending me so that I can feel better or should this be something he has to come to on his own? And lastly, should neither of us contact her and I should move on so that we aren't engaging in more dialogs?

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