Q&A Should My Wife Offer Amends and/or Disclosure to Her Ex Husband?

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Question: 

I knew the day I married my wife that she had 15 AP's in her previous 16 year marriage. She successfully convinced me that her affairs from her previous marriage were the result of her now ex-husband's constant verbal abuse. Fast-forward 14 years that we have been married and I recently discovered she has had 4 AP's during our marriage. The last affair ended two months ago after I discovered her secret affairs during our otherwise wonderful marriage with 2 children. 2 months from discovery, I am positive she is remorseful, repentant and on the right path to recovery thanks in no small part to affair recovery.com. In short, she "gets it". My question is about her first marriage where her unhealthy behaviors began. She never made any disclosure of the truth (although he does know about a few of them) to her now ex-husband and for the past 14 years has not been at all remorseful for her actions. She has now done a 180 and is remorseful and feels incredible guilt for betraying her ex-husband so many times. Should she offer a heartfelt apology to him even though it's been 14 years? If so, should she provide some form of disclosure to him if he requests such information? We are both afraid of hurting him now just to relieve her guilt and help her heal but feel it might help him to know the truth and how truly sorry she is for ruining their marriage.

 

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