Q&A What Can I Do about My Husband Becoming Extremely Controlling?

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Question: 

My husband indulged in series of affairs and sex addiction for 17 years out of 25 years of our marriage. Discovery was last July. I was devastated and traumatized, but making good recovery ever since. We finished our EMS Online course and are in Married for Life week 3. My problem is that my husband is becoming extremely controlling with regards to expressing my hurt feelings about his boundary violation and other trust issues to our marital therapist. He rebukes me, holds contempt when I shared my painful experience of his affair partner contacting me and describing wonderful sex life of my husband with her and that my husband told many hurtful things about my appearance to her. My husband is very defensive and doesn't let me express my hurt feelings, so I take difficult sharings to be discussed in front of the marital therapist. My husband feels terribly ashamed and lashes out badly and feels my intention is to manipulate him and that my psychotherapist too helps me to make the sessions 'thrashing' sessions and he feels very unsafe. I have started feeling very unsafe due to his extremely controlling and defensive attitude.

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Controlling husband

I have experienced this as well although seems to be abating in the last few months. I believe that this behaviour in my husband stems from the fact that he does not know true forgiveness ... I’ve forgiven him and we are 20 years down the road but I believe this stems from him not knowing the forgiveness of God.