I always thought that ours was a covenant marriage. When I found out that my husband had been unfaithful and had five different affairs – three concurrently when he was 45 almost 5 years ago, I not only felt that he had broken the covenant, but I felt that in fact he had only been in a contractual marriage all the time. I feel that I have to stay for our children’s sake (one is disabled) and for the sake of our economic future. I think I still love him, as I would not like to see him with a new wife. I feel trapped. I also feel like a fool for staying, so my own attitude towards the marriage has changed to become a contractual marriage, and I reserve the right to leave at any time as I feel that our marriage is no longer a real marriage. I am constantly on guard and often thinking about divorce. I hate to be married in this way. I never wanted that. My dreams are shattered. What can I do?