Q&A What Do I Do While My Spouse Disconnects From the Affair Partner?

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Question: 

My husband had an “emotional affair” with a secretary at his work. Dday was June 1, 2015 at which time he asked me to not leave him. I finally agreed to stay. We have seen one counselor, four pastors, and friends. The pastors were to contact my husband and hold him accountable plus he was to meet with two of them each week for prayer and counseling. He met for a while but has not continued it. I found your website and asked him if he would participate. He said he would; but did not continue with the Bootcamp when it came time for discovery. In July, 2015, I discovered my husband was “reporting back to his Affair Partner” how our counseling sessions went. In February, 2016, I discovered two receipts for gifts he purchased for his Affair Partner. I overheard him calling her by the “pet name” he has for her this week. Even though my husband has “seemed” repentant, I feel a barrier and have the entire time since Dday. He has never stated what his true feelings for his affair partner are at this time. I am in Harboring Hope and am aware the betrayer needs time to “grieve” the loss of their affair partner—especially if it is an emotional attachment. This makes me angry. Until I know my husband has given up his affair partner, I do not feel I have any solid ground for recovery. What do I do at this point?

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