Q&A What does He Need to Do to Get It?

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Question: 

My Dday was January 6 through March 8. A series of ways he betrayed me over a 7 year period which included Facebook messaging a college girlfriend who now lives in Europe, sexting with work staff, sexting with an employee who proceeded to send him videos of her masturbating and then gave him oral sex, and having a purely sexual relationship with a former employee. My husband has stopped all AP activity and says he is sorry. We decided he has not protected our boundaries appropriately and he has been working towards that. Part of this was approaching his new employee (with whom everything is solely professional) and letting her know he is being more mindful of how he is treating others, and that he feels it is unprofessional for the work pair to call each other 'besties'. We've been doing well and communicating a lot. Today I found a text to this employee, whom he referred to as bestie. Triggered, I called him. He actually justified it because she and another employee were concerned they were reprimanded by their boss, who answers to my husband. "I was trying to make her feel better and I knew she liked it previously when I called her bestie" He didn't get it when I explained that his priority was to place my feelings above hers, and needs to work extra hard at establishing boundaries. What does he need to do to get it?????

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