Q&A What Else Can I Do to Prevent a Divorce or Retaliatory Affair?

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I have been married to my mate for 26 years. Our first D-day was 18 months ago and our last was 9 weeks ago. I trickle-truthed and was not able to be honest entirely until then. It has done untold damage I realize, but now I have reached ground zero. Of course, she remains skeptical. At this time, one of our biggest issues relates to the perceived inequality in our sexual relationship. We were mutually virgins until I broke my infidelity sexually with 2 women early in our marriage and when my mate was pregnant with our 1st child. I have been diagnosed with sex addiction, have had issues with compulsive masturbation, pornography use, emotional affairs, and exposure to private dances at strip clubs. I have done horrible things. I am in a 12-step program and attend 6 meetings a week religiously. I have been sober from significant acting out since my original D-day. I have done Hope for Healing. We are just finishing EMS Online and have signed up to do Married for Life. I have also recaptured my spirituality. Problem is, my mate sees this inequality in experience as hurtful and unacceptable and has gone so far as to say she 'needs' to experience it too--"she doesn't want to be the only one who hasn't done it." She also is now talking a lot of divorce. What, if anything can I do? I feel hopeless. I am trying as hard as I can and desperately want to change.



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