Q&A What Matters More in Recovery, Intention or Impact?

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Question: 

Please help me explain to my husband that his intention doesn’t reduce the impact of his actions. After all the work we’ve done I can clearly see and believe my husband did not intent to have an affair. Alcohol & manipulation led him down that path. But even with this knowledge my pain hasn’t lessen. And while we’ve done so much work towards recovery I think I remain stuck when I’m in pain and he says he’s sorry it wasn’t his intention. That feels like he’s minimizing the impact of his actions and truly doesn’t see the impact this has had on me. And as a result he doesn’t see how strong I’ve had to be or how hard I’ve had to work. I feel this viewpoint is blocking his ability to really see me.

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