Your Healing from Infidelity or Addiction Is Not Their Responsibility

Samuel has a heart to heart talk with those in crisis due to infidelity about their own healing and restoration.

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What if the counselor in our second session asks me why I am so angry? And in my spouses individual therapy, with the same counselor about his addiction, tells him his addiction is like comparing alcoholics. One may only drink 2-3 drinks a day while the other will drink a whole bottle. So basically, he’s telling my spouse his addiction isn’t that bad. And now my spouse likes to throw it in my face that he doesn’t have that big of a problem. Even though this has been going on off and on for 28 years. 🤷🏻‍♀️😡

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It's been two months since my husband's affair. He immediately got the How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair book, which has amazing points in it. But I think you're right that actual healing has to come from inside all of us, and that mot of that relies on our own individual work. I do need him to help me feel safe, but he can't give me what I need from myself. I can't give him what he's longing for within himself. We can truly love each other, though, instead of waiting for and hoping for it to happen without incredible work ahead. Thank you to everyone here, but mostly you and Rick for speaking the truth. I wish everyone hope and love who comes here. We can do this, and we are worth it. This isn't the last day I'm going to be filled with rage or despair, but it has gotten noticeably better by going to individual counseling, marriage counseling, reading everything I can about sexual addiction, looking into support groups for myself, and this incredible blog. Thank you, from the bottom of my healing heart.