Q&A Why Won't My Mate Create a Safe Space for Me to Heal?

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Question: 

I’m currently enrolled in Hope for Healing and I am benefiting greatly from the daily interactions and assignments. My husband watched your video and agreed to the privacy of this group. My problem is that he reads our posts and then threatens me with divorce every time I express any frustrations on my part. I’m not allowed to have any feelings at all except shame and disgust at what I’ve done. Certainly I’m not supposed to vent there! He sees it as disrespectful. My only solution is to not use the group as a source of strength and encouragement but that doesn’t seem right! This is supposed to be our safe place, right?

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Why is he viewing the H4H

Why is he viewing the H4H content? If you gave him access, change your password.

The spouse’s reading of the

The spouse’s reading of the private group wall isn’t just a problem for their own spouse’s safe processing, it becomes a problem for ALL participants in the group as the safety of the entire group is eroded at that point. Safety is counted on in the group, it’s one of the things that builds trust and relationship within the group and allows participants to process through all the lies to get to the truth. If that goes away, everything can shut down. There’s a good reason why committing to privacy is one of the main components of the group contract.