Q&A Why Wouldn't he End it?

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Hi Rick, I am 3 months past discovery. The moment I found out, my husband was relieved and had no problem ending his yearlong affair. He says he didn't love her, although he did text "I love you" to keep getting the physical attention from her that he desired. He had convinced himself that I didn't want him that way and he was bitter. Sex happened a few times, was not very satisfying, and then things started to really slow down until I discovered it by seeing a text he sent her trying to heat things up again. We've been together since high school, married 23 years and have always had a pretty close relationship. During the affair he says he still loved me and enjoyed being together and wanted things to be right with us. He says he could see how loving I was but kept pushing that aside. Can you help me understand how he could love me and see that I was loving him and even wanting him sexually, but not be willing to end his affair even when he swears he did not love the AP? It seems like he had a natural way out when things had cooled off, but wouldn't let it die. This has made it very hard for me to believe it wasn't about "her" and that he really still loved me. Why wouldn't he end it?



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