Q&A Would it be Best Overall if we Divorced so he Could Pursue his Affair Partner?

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Question: 

My husband had an emotional affair with a coworker 2 years ago. I was newly pregnant at the time with a child he'd wanted us to conceive and by both our accounts we had a good marriage. Because of the way he handled the situation post discovery (breaking non-negotiable agreements and lying about things I'd made clear would cause me to consider divorce) and because of the way he treated me and things he said I have always felt he really wanted to choose his AP, but could not reconcile himself to facing both the professional and personal consequences of that choice. Although I believe he has not continued a relationship with her in that time, I do believe, all things being equal, he preferred her. He has now recommitted to our marriage and says he only wants to fix us and heal. Coincidentally his new zeal for me came around the same time she relocated for work. At this point I feel the best option for us is to separate and for him to pursue a relationship with her. I often feel she would be the better choice. It seems reasonable to believe he could have what he wanted then and I could be free to move on. I don't believe I will ever feel like I wasn't chosen by default or like I will ever believe Im more of what he wants. I am considering a divorce now, he wants us to keep trying. What is a good option here?

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