The day my husband’s AP showed up at our house and told me that I needed to know “what kind of man I had married” one of my first thoughts was that our marriage was over. How can a marriage survive this type of destruction? I had always said that if my husband cheated I would leave. Some things are simply unforgivable.
After screaming, crying hysterically, and begging for answers my husband moved out of our home and into hers. That was on a Saturday. On Monday I contacted a lawyer about divorce and filled out paperwork to get temporary custody of our 15 year old daughter. A judge granted my request on Tuesday. Then after eleven days of heartbreaking ups and downs my husband moved back home and we began the slow, sometimes excruciating process of recovery.
During those eleven days I “knew” that after nearly 25 years of marriage I would have to start over. My husband has always been the financial supporter of our family. For 20 years I was a...
Today Samuel shares key insight and vision into the new life he and Samantha experience but never saw as a possibility early on.
She glared at me in disbelief. “What part of I don’t want you to get me anything for Valentine’s don’t you understand?” she asked. I stood there with flowers and card in hand looking at the ground not sure what to do. I knew she had said do nothing, but after the discovery of my affair three months earlier I couldn’t stand not doing something to let her know I appreciated her staying. If I did nothing I was afraid she’d be hurt and bring up all the things I did for my affair partner on Valentine’s last year and remind me how I did nothing for her. I knew she’d take my doing nothing as a sign that I didn’t care. What could I do? I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t.
It’s a fair question. Just what do you do for Valentine’s Day after infidelity? It becomes one of the most dreaded holidays a couple can face. Does the unfaithful attempt to redeem the holiday and buy anything or do anything? Is it better...
Samuel shares insight into how recovery doesn't gain momentum upon the mountaintops but through the seemingly unremarkable, mundane days spent in the valleys below.
Today Samuel delves into the anger of the unfaithful spouse.
Today Samuel tackles the concern of pushing the unfaithful toward their affair partner.
Today, much to my dismay, I read that timekeepers at the International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems Service will be adding a “leap second” to 2016 (which was already a leap year) on December 31. The article explained that without the addition of an extra second at carefully calculated intervals, atomic clocks become out of sync with solar time. Apparently, this is because the earth’s rotation is not constant, but at times it slows down and speeds up ever so slightly. This may sound like scientific trivia to some people, but to me it feels like adding insult to injury.
2016 was figuratively the longest year of my life. It was the year my spouse of 16 years gave up on our marriage, carried out a two-and-a-half-month affair with a coworker, and thus inducted me into a sort of secret society, what I’ve come to call the Betrayed Spouse Club. It’s a club no one wants to join, and if you are part of it, few want to...
Detoxing in recovery is not always about the unfaithful spouse and their affair partner or habits, but also about uprooting dysfunction.
Samuel shares insight on the belief "What a Betrayed Spouse Tolerates they Reinforce".
Only a few short days after discovery, I started searching the internet for answers. I wasn’t even sure what I was looking for, I just randomly entered search phrases such as “my husband had an affair” and “how can I survive my husband’s affair”. It still boggles my mind that there are literally millions of internet sites to choose from on the topic! It’s staggering, shocking even and so incredibly sad to realize that adultery is so prevalent. I was haunted by the weight of the numbers. With so many sites to choose from how would I ever get the answers that I was looking for?
Then I discovered Affair Recovery. It seemed to be the site that had what I needed. I soaked up the blogs and recovery library, searching for anything that could soothe my agony. But the ability to post questions, receive answers and hear from other betrayed wives is what kept me coming back.
Expecting to...
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