I have tailored the truth to my audience for as long as I can remember.
And it started with peanuts. I attended a non-denominational Christian elementary school. One day when I was in the fourth grade, I had to stay in from recess for a reason I don't recall. To ease my pain and disappointment of missing out on the best part of the school day, my friend told me that I could have some of the peanuts she had in her lunch box. So, while the class was outside, I helped myself to some. However, I wasn't the only one who had to stay in that day. When two of my fellow sequestered classmates saw me snacking down on the tasty peanuts, they wanted some too. Now, my friend didn't give me permission to share with anyone else, but I decided, without much thought, that it would be ok if I did. Before I knew it, we had...
Today you'll hear five key factors that can either stall your recovery or actually speed it up. That's right; you did read that correctly: your healing can be accelerated if you utilize these five key principles and tools. Alternatively, if you choose to ignore these tools, your own repair work will most likely be stalled out. Surviving infidelity is not impossible, but it does require proven strategy from those who have had to climb out of their own pit and do the heavy lifting. While our significant other's healing is not within our control, our own healing and our repair work certainly are. As you take this journey with Samuel today, we hope you'll find healing, practical insights, and rejuvenation in your own recovery.
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The point of discovery of infidelity in a marriage is arguably the worst moment in both the unfaithful and the betrayed partner's lives. Emotions on both sides are high and often irrational, and fear and uncertainty about the future are drivers of many high-intensity interactions in the early days following disclosure. While these initial responses are natural, the unfaithful partner has an opportunity to take charge of their own response to kick-start a healthy healing process.
Develop a...
Emotional boundaries are essential if a couple is going to survive the upheaval of infidelity or addiction. A boundaryless recovery will exacerbate all parties, including children, extended family, and even mental health professionals attempting to help. Utilizing emotional boundaries in everyday life can be hard enough, and to expect that the use of these boundaries will be easy in dealing with infidelity would not only be unrealistic, but inconsiderate of the pain and trauma we encounter early in life. However, with the right process and healing guides, emotional boundaries can serve as guideposts to help partners navigate through the complexity involved with protecting themselves from further damage. Today Samuel will share principles, personal mistakes, and eye-opening experiences from his own life to help those on both sides of the...
For decades, mental health professionals have stressed the need to have a healthy self-image in life. From self-love, to self-actualization, how we see ourselves is a true game changer, not only in our primary relationships, but also in life. How much more should our self-image be repaired after the disclosure of infidelity? After betrayal trauma enters the picture, our lives seem to completely unravel, and we find ourselves looking for any handle to hold onto in order to merely survive. As we begin to find our footing again after discovery or disclosure, we're in need of concrete strategies to heal and find meaning and purpose again, especially if the relationship doesn't survive. Today you'll hear five ways to repair our self-image after an affair, for both the unfaithful and the betrayed partner.
Strong winds are blowing outside and the cold is hard to deny. We're in the cusp of springtime, and just a few days ago it was nice and in the 70s. A familiar heaviness burdens me, and it's hard to shake off. I pray and am tired. I know I want to get up and go and do things. I have things to do, but I refuse to write this off as lazy. It's my day off; however, I just seem a little weak or unmotivated, which is frustrating because I like to do things on my days off. I went to do my favorite exercises, but was not confident there. I have not been my usual ball of excitement, but if I think about it, it's been maybe a week or more now. It saddens me. I know this month is D-day month. I loathe that it would get to me. The month came to a slow crawl as it neared,...
Today you'll hear from our newest video blogger, Mickey. Have you ever considered that there may be benefits to addiction recovery work? Maybe you're wondering 'can anything good ever come of my addiction?' Today you'll hear not only a few positives that have come out of Mickey's journey, but you'll also gain a palatable understanding of how to move through addiction into wholeness and personal restoration.
In the journey of healing, it's vital that we find healing guides who have walked this way before, who can courageously share their stories of successes and failures. Today is the first in a new series by Mickey highlighting the benefits of working a recovery program. During this series, he will share his own journey of healing and restoration, as it pertains to sex addiction and saving his own...
On the path of beginning to heal a relationship after infidelity, oftentimes in the middle of a fight, a spouse or partner may not know what they need in that moment. They don’t know if they need answers, comfort, direction, or to have their hand held. Science says it takes 1/200th of a second for the betrayed spouse to flood emotionally. The triggers and onslaught of emotions can come on so quickly, that a partner can be lost for understanding what they need. Enter the unfaithful, perhaps genuinely trying to help the betrayed, but clueless on how to support them in their pain or hurt. They try X; it fails miserably. They try Y; it goes from bad to worse. It can leave both parties reeling in despair, wondering if there is any practical hope to...
Part I: What is Forgiveness Anyway? Part II: The Journey of a Lifetime
Last time we talked about the reality of forgiveness - what it is and what it isn't - and how forgiveness plays a vital role in recovery and potential reconciliation. So why don't people forgive? Lots of reasons. Fear, pride, anger, resentment, bitterness and a lack of understanding of forgiveness are some of them. While I would never wish to relive this season of my life, it has offered me a great deal of self-examination. To begin to consider life after betrayal, I had to take a hard look at myself. Was I prideful? Yes, probably. Considering forgiveness of this deeply personal and intimate...
In the spirit of this Easter and Resurrection season, today Rodney and Angela share an old hymn that celebrates the good news of the Gospel - Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection - "Jesus Paid It All." For the believer, His payment on the cross changes everything. Imagine owing a debt so large, you could never pay it off. Even the sum total of life's wages and possessions would leave you drastically short, because of your own sin. You've resolved that even in death, you will never be free. Yet, somehow, through no merit of your own, you hear that someone, on your behalf, completely erased all your debt. When the reality of this truth sinks in, what immense joy and gratitude fills your heart, knowing that you no longer have to live life under a cloud of sin, guilt, shame, fear, and...
What Type of Affair Was It?
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