Q&A What is Going Through His Mind?

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Question: 

My husband and I totally disagree about like-love, he has had 3 affairs in our 34 years of marriage and he says that he rather have me like him than in love with him. He says that he discovered through the affairs was somebody that accepted him and made him feel good, special, and even said that every time he would look in their eyes he would see his reflection and that made him feel amazing. We are trying to work out our relationship, we have grown kids and they don't want anything to do with their dad because they say he is a liar. We have been working on communication to establish a friendship. Our conversations sometimes are good and sometimes not too good. He lives in another state very far from us because of his job. He said I mentally abused him because I never put him first, I used to tell him I love you, but I don't like you, which is true, but what we disagree on is when he says that he would rather I have had a couple of affairs than the mental abuse I did to him. Of course the mental abuse was because of his control and manipulation. Can you please tell me what you think is going on in his mind when he says these things? He is a very successful man when it comes to his career, but he has hurt his marriage and kids too much.

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