Q&A Am I Asking for Too Much in Regards to Safety in Recovery?

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Question: 

We are two years out from D-Day and October of last year was the last discovery of contact with the AP for her. At counseling she has brought up the two years out as saying she has never felt I have been two feet in. I did not get some answers until Feb 2016. After the last contact, she took me to mediation and took off her ring. This caused me to really lose a lot of love for her as it was the third time she tried to restart the affair. After two months of no work she decided to finally go back to counseling with me. We have been in counseling since. I have not been allowed to have the cell phone access, Gmail, Facebook or her work email passwords unless she is present. This has constantly caused me to have doubts to whether there was more than one affair during our marriage. Or if the affair was longer than stated or even if the last contact was last contact. She has refused to do EMS, HFH or take a polygraph or a postnuptial. When should the clock start on repairing the safety and trust? I don't want the marriage unless we can have complete transparency, ie no second life, no privacy. Am I asking for too much?

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