Q&A How can we Achieve Transparency Without me Policing my Husband?

Hi John and Leslie- My husband and I did the EMSO course and I am currently in Harboring Hope. It's been about 6 months since D Day. I am hoping for your insight and suggestions. I am very uncomfortable with my husband texting / communicating with female friends (even other soccer mom's from our children's team) I have expressed this to him & even though months ago he agreed not to do it he still does occasionally which I discovered this evening when he shared with me a conversation he had had with another mom. Although he eventually said he understood why, he was very defensive about our conversation and suggested I was being ridiculous. When small things like this have popped up with regard to texting, social media, etc. he reminds me that he was voluntarily sharing this info with me & that if he wanted to hide something he could very easily because he did it for a while & I never would have known anything he didn't want me to know. By his own words, he knows how to cover his tracks and he is good at it. I do not want to police my husband (I tried for a while and it was exhausting & futile) I am hoping you can provide me with some strategies or suggestions to help get beyond this.