Q&A How Do I Move past What My Mate Said to the Affair Partner?

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In one of the many texts I read between my husband and the AP, she asked him if he was taking me his class reunion. He told her no, stating "She is kind of an awkward drag and at my class reunion I had more fun the night I went alone". When telling him to enjoy his family gathering on Christmas morning, he told her it wouldn't be the same because I didn't matter to him. This weighs on my mind a whole lot. He said he didn't mean that or anything else he said to her. Our marriage had gotten on the stale side, but we got along okay. We never fought so it was far from dark or painful from where I stood. We are 14 months post D-Day from his 10 month affair and he swears he only said this to make her feel good about herself, even though at that time he told me he was trying to figure out a way to break it off with her but feared retaliation. I’m so hurt by these comments & know there were a lot more. This is tearing me apart, and holding me back, thinking that’s how he feels about me. He treats me so lovingly now which he never did before. I don't know how to move past this. I feel like I need to try to be someone I'm not by acting like a social butterfly, but that is just not me.



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