This Is What Happens When the Unfaithful Spouse Doesn't Forgive Themselves

Samuel shares the battle unfaithful spouses must work through towards self compassion.

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Forgiving yourself

I am a betrayed spouse and I listened to your complete video blog and anxiously await part two. One comment I would like to make is that I too am struggling with forgiving myself. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times I hear “it’s not your fault” I still FEEL those same feeling of self-loathing, shame, anger, disgust as you describe and I have heard from my spouse. If I feel this way there may be other betrayed spouses who are struggling with this also. For me, this issue is not adequately addressed or is minimized. I suspect you list of topics to cover in your video blog is quite long but could it please be added to the list?
Thank you,

“It’s not your fault”

I’m wanting the same thing. I wonder how many times I can hear this and for the light to come on and actually accept this reality. I too, believe many betrayed struggle with this. Thanks for bringing this forward.

Add me to the MeToo movement on this

I would love to hear from Samantha on this topic ... I know that Samuel does a fantastic job of hitting both the betrayed and unfaithful ... but maybe Samantha could come back in and touch on this for us?


Thank you for this insight. I experience this every day from my UH. I made it through the video and have information to ponder upon. The lack of empathy, remorse even anger still permeates after almost 4 years. I ponder day in and day out, why? Why is there no breakthrough, how does he hang on to the entitlement and little to no empathy. It was there for a brief period during EMS Weekend but dried up as life went on. My healing is at a halt and we are heading to Austin next month. I'm beginning to feel hopeless again.

Thank you, will stay tuned for Part II.

The shame I feel is getting worse and I have to find someway to move forward with or without the marriage. My logical mind asks why do I have shame? I can't answer that question, but the burden is very heavy and won't lessen.

4 years and permeates

Thank you for admitting to the length of being "stuck". I simply do not understand how anyone can find this grateful space after a year or two, unless they have settled on a less than marriage or simply they never had anything special. I wish there was more dialogue like your's, in the sense of "I'm not in the timeline".

What type of affair was it?

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-D, Texas