Q&A Is This a Reasonable Stand for Me to Take with My Unfaithful Spouse?

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Hello! I have been struggling with my husband's infidelity for 20 months.(married 15yr) My husband convinced me he was sorry, he loved me and would "prove it to me" forever. He continued one affair behind my back on and off for one year after Dday. When I said I wanted a divorce he agreed to EMSO. Things improved but never got great. When I catch him in another lie he tries harder for a while. He claims he’s no longer cheating. He still puts himself in inappropriate situations with women. Previously I’ve kind of felt that God was telling me to stay, not to give up but I don't feel like that anymore. My husband has been setting many "rules" during recovery...if he’s willing to get counseling, how often, when he’s transparent with email passwords (gives them to me, changes them, waits weeks to give me new ones). I’m going to let him know that I won’t fight for him to choose me and our family anymore! If he wants to be transparent, build trust and fight for me then I’m willing to give him one last chance. Does this sound sensible? When unfaithful spouses say they really want the marriage, why do they act contrary? It seems like if he truly wants to be with me and keep our family together he would put forth a huge amount of effort to make me feel safe again, to build trust and make me feel special. Is this just unrealistic?



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