Q&A Is There Any Hope for Truth?

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Fifteen years ago, I discovered my spouse had been secretly going to bars several times a week for two years. He said he was working late and lied if questioned. Eventually, I confronted him with details he couldn't deny. He never admitted to anything beyond what I discovered. He continues to go to bars without me even though it makes me unhappy. Last year, I found flirty texts between him and a friend of mine. When confronted, he agreed to stop communicating with her. Two months later, he went on a business trip where she lives and they made plans to get together without my knowledge. They met for "one" drink at 5:30 which turned into dinner. They went to another bar until midnight. The next day, there was a 3 hour lunch and cocktails that evening. I discovered they both deceived me and I confronted him when he returned. We separated for two months. He denies any emotional or physical intimacy and refuses to call it an affair. Again, he hasn't admitted to anything beyond what I discovered. Now, I'm in HH and he's in H4H. I've discovered he lied and omitted important details when he shared his story with his group. I've told him he needs to come clean. Instead, he lied to me about what he told his group! He says he loves me, is committed to our marriage, and is being honest and transparent! Is there any hope for truth and full disclosure? We've tried various counselors over the years.



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