Q&A What Would you Suggest for Us to Reconnect Emotionally?

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Do you have any suggestions for resources beyond "Restoring the Pleasure"? My husband and I had an active sex life throughout our 16 year marriage prior to his affair. We are 8.5 months into recovery and I have discovered that while he and I shared what might have been a physically active and satisfying relationship, we had very different views on sex from an emotional and spiritual standpoint. We are also in recovery from his porn addiction that has been an issue throughout our marriage and dating (we went through some unhelpful counseling for it early on in marriage that resulted in me living in denial and him continuing the practices and hiding them from me). We consistently engaged in sexual activity at least three times a week, and prior to the affair neither of us ever had trouble reaching orgasm (my husband told his AP that the affair wasn't about sex because we had a good sex life). I don't think the mechanics of sex or being comfortable with each other during sex was ever our problem. Emotionally we were on two totally different pages. The "Restoring the Pleasure" book seems to encourage people to address their emotional issues before the retraining process. Do you have any suggestions for resources to address that?



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