Q&A Can There be Safety Without Recovery Work?

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Thank you for the AR site, this Q&A opportunity and for answering the last question I submitted about forgiveness. (Q&A How Do I Forgive When it Wasn’t a Mistake?) What I now realize is that my question is not about forgiveness, but rather reconciliation. My unfaithful spouse made multiple bad choices knowing the impact and consequences of his actions and he still decided to move forward in his many extreme acts of infidelity. He insists that he doesn't have a sexual addiction, but had multiple sex partners (who all knew he was married) during our entire marriage because he "could", he "wanted to", and it was "convenient", all reasons I can't begin to understand. Now he sees his choices as horrific and disrespectful to me and our marriage, and he is remorseful and has ceased contact with all his affair partners (at the time of D-day there were about 6 active; during our marriage there have been greater than 20). He is interested in staying in the marriage, as he claims he has always loved me, however, he is not interested in counseling, EMSO or anything that requires money as he sees it as unnecessary since he knows his mistakes and has stopped this behavior. My question is how do you know and is there ever safety in reconciling with someone who had multiple, many non-one night stand, physical affairs?



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