Q&A Could There Really Be Such a Thing as a Midlife Crisis Affair?

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Question: 

It is still reasonably early in recovery, 5 months, and I am the betrayed. I have been struggling with ambivalence, but this last month feel much more hopeful. I feel I am stuck in a phase where I am searching for meaning and the reasoning behind my husband’s affair, and am fearful I won’t be able to move on from this point. I have listened to countless videos and podcasts on the types of affairs and reasons why they happen, but none seem to fit his story. He was an amazing husband, father, and friend our entire 14 year relationship, but during his 5 month affair he changed into a completely different person. He turned 40 in the middle of his affair, and I tried to attribute a lot of warning signs to that. His affair was with his 26 year old employee. They did not touch physically, but sexted each other almost every single day for months. They would meet for 10 minute coffee dates once a week at a grocery store. They never shared intimate details with one another, and besides flirting did not mention anything emotional or about the sexting when face to face. He never wanted to be with her or leave our relationship. The moment he was discovered he immediately cut all contact and she quit. It seems to mostly have been about his ego. Could there really be such a thing as a midlife crisis affair? No other types seem to fit our situation.

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