My husband left me over two years ago and since then we have been trying to fix our marriage. But he maintains a very close friendship with the affair partner and this has made it impossible for me to feel safe or to build trust. I think I am able to forgive him, both vertically and horizontally as I do feel great empathy for him and he has also shown me how sorry he is for hurting me, even though he continues to do it. I also really want to forgive his affair partner because I don't want to feel this resentment and fear inside any more. But she is still very involved in his life as they work together, and they still have a very close friendship an emotion entanglement, even having had phone sex just a few months ago. I am told the affair is over but things suggest otherwise. The affair partner was my friend and she has never actually apologized to me for treating me so badly. How can I forgive her when she is still impacting my life so negatively and stopping me and my husband from healing our marriage? I’m not sure it is possible to reconcile and forgive her horizontally because of her lack of contrition, but how do I forgive her vertically and free myself from such pain and sadness?