Q&A How Can I Overcome Intrusive Thoughts While Being Intimate with My Mate?

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Question: 

We are almost 15 months past D-Day. My husband has done Hope for Healing and I have just started Harboring Hope. We have done EMSO and are in MFL. We have done a week in MFL focused on sexual intimacy and it's obvious that I sit with a large degree of trauma around this as I couldn't complete it. My husband and I have engaged in regular sexual activity since a few months after D-Day. I am challenged by intrusive thoughts of him and his AP. This has happened every time bar once. We tried to recreate that situation where it didn't happen but they simply returned. We have tried the eyes open, lights on thing. It helped but not totally. We have stopped a few times when they have been really too much. My husband has suggested we take a break and see if it helps. From experience this seems to have made them increase. I want to be able to have this level of intimacy with my husband without these thoughts. It is not enjoyable and sometimes so emotionally painful I just end up crying. What else might help? I would really appreciate your thoughts. Thanks.

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