Q&A How Can I Trust a Man That Has Cheated Most of Our Marriage?

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Question: 

It has been five months since d-day. I am at the end of Harboring Hope and my husband is in Hope for Healing. He is doing the work for his course and claims to never want to go back to that lifestyle... The trickle down truth continues to shade light into layers of multiple lies and betrayals (sexual, emotional and financial) that include pornography, dating sites, hook-ups, strippers and escorts for more than half of our 17 years of marriage. Recently, I have come to realize that with the many hook ups, not only was he saying he was in a difficult marriage but he went as far as to say he was divorced. That is news to me and leaves me questioning his new found repentance as my perception is that he was hooking up to leave the marriage. With the revelation that he was leaving as a single man as soon as he stepped out of the house or was on his phone, and knowing he consulted a divorce lawyer in 2019, how can I trust that now he wants to stay in the marriage and choose his wife and children. How does one go from wishing and living a life of a single uncommitted man and when he is confronted with his sin, suddenly realizes he wants the life of a married man..... He had 17 years to choose me and clearly he did not..... I don't know why I should even consider giving him another chance. Can someone who seems remorseful but has managed to be a con all his life be trusted with recovery and rebuilding a marriage? I just cannot discern the authenticity in someone's motivations changing overnight...... is it possible he is only choosing the marriage because he is afraid of "Mr. Nice guy" being exposed for who he truly has been? Is that why someone like that claims to want to "straighten up" only after being caught and confronted??? I am so confused and heart broken!

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