Q&A How Can We Create Safety When Anonymity Is a Requirement in 12 Step Programs?

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Question: 

My husband is a sex addict. He completed the 12 steps and seems to have turned his life around. We are struggling with an integrity issue. Sex addict groups have rules that you can’t share names or anything about the group to anyone. As a betrayed spouse, this is a problem for me because my husband has kept secrets from me for years - the vast majority of our relationship. He has quit attending meetings because he can’t go to a meeting knowing he may betray the group so he has instead decided to betray me by not attending 5 sex addict groups a week. This is a deal breaker for me. I do not feel he is “forsaking all others” to keep me safe. How can I get any of my questions answered and him go to sex addict groups? Secrets or withholding requested information is a deal breaker for me. I am close to giving up.

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