Q&A How Do I Continue Healing When I'm Surrounded by My Mates Negativity?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


We are 8 months post D-Day and I am the betrayed. I am in HH and occasionally seeing my therapist. My husband last saw his own therapist about 5 months ago and together we went to Christian couples counseling 3 times but then stopped about 6 weeks ago. I haven't pushed the issue to return. I know he's trying hard to be a better man, but I'm concerned that he's not healing. He works long hours, worries about his company, doesn't sleep or eat well, gets caught up in the negativity of this world and obsesses about things he doesn't have any power over. This is the kind of behavior that led to the affair. He just drains the joy and energy out of me and I become numb to the negativity. I know he's remorseful and has disengaged from the AP, but he's going back to his old behavior and I'm going back to being the person who doesn't want to rock the boat. How do I heal when I don't feel like I can ever go to him about anything that concerns me? How do we heal from the infidelity when neither of us have the energy to invest in our relationship? How do I continue in my healing when I am surrounded by his negativity?



RL_Media Type: 

Can you provide a couple of

Can you provide a couple of examples on how to ask those questions, or make those statements without shaming?
I have read how to do it, but it doesn't seem to be clicking for me. I wonder if some examples would help.

Thank you.

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas