Q&A How Do I Convince My Wife I Love Her and Only Her?

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I had an 18-year emotional affair with a co-worker with whom I wanted to have sex, but she did not. For years I believed that my AP loved me, but now I see it was all just a game to her. She just wanted the gifts, the dinners, the affirmations. I see that I was played; I understand this, but my wife thinks I don’t get it. My wife thinks if I really got it, I would express more anger toward my AP, that I would call her all sorts of bad names and fume with hatred toward my AP. Because I don’t do this, my wife thinks I still hold on to the hope that my AP loved me. I want my wife to know without a doubt that I have knocked my AP off the pedestal I once had her on and I have NO more love for her, nor do I care if my AP ever loved me. But my wife says she needs me to think about her. My wife believes that I must still reserve some hope that my AP loved me because of things I’ve said: “She didn’t have anyone else,” and “She had a hard childhood,” and “She was depressed.” My wife sees these expressions of empathy as love for my AP. How do I convince my wife that I have NO more love for my AP? How do I convince my wife I love her and only her?



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