Q&A How Do I Get Him to See That He Has to Do the Work for Our Marriage to Survive?

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Question: 

My husband does not really express any of his emotions. NOTHING. Totally void most of the time. He does not even express anger that often and when he does he will just say that he is aggravated. As a result I often have no idea what he is feeling, but the sad thought is neither does he. He seems to think it is okay on continue this way, but as a result I have not seen any grieving, he NEVER cries and has not hardly shed a tear since this all started. He is uncomfortable dealing with my emotions. In an article Rick said couples that do not grieve often do not make it. For a year I have been "waiting" on him. He has done some sessions with a therapist, but does not follow through with the assignments. I think it is because they are emotionally painful. He has done very little self reflection. The therapist mentioned emotional anorexia. My husband disagrees, but I see several of the signs. My question how do I get him to see that he has to do the work for our marriage to survive? How can I make him understand it is for the benefit of us both? Just some background we have worked with a therapist, done EMSO, he has done H4H. D-day was 3 years ago, but the first year after was ineffective counseling that did more damage.

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