Q&A How Do I Help My Husband Understand the Effects of Trauma While Also Letting Him See That It Is Not an Excuse for My Actions?

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My husband has been trying his best to understand how my childhood sexual abuse has effected my developmental brain and its effect on my actions in life in general. Since there was an abusive element between me and my affair partner, he doesn’t understand how I could keep going back to someone who did things like I experienced in my childhood or how everything escalated so quickly. I am working really hard in all my programs to try and figure out the various whys for my husband and I take full responsibility for my actions. I just worry I won’t be able to figure myself out quick enough to help him finally have his answers to process everything and continue to recover. I can’t always explain my “whys” and typical need to talk to my therapist. He deserves to have peace after my destruction and I can’t process things like he needs. How do I help my husband understand the effects of my trauma and be able to satisfy his need for “why” while also letting him see that it is not an excuse for my actions?



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