Q&A How Do We Recover When the Family Dynamic Has Been Dramatically Affected?

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Question: 

My husband’s second affair partner was my 19-year-old niece who was serving as a nanny in our home last summer. The family dynamic has been crippling for me and I often feel I am living a double life in keeping my recovery journey with my husband from my family, and having to choose between the two. My family has banished my husband and are supporting my niece whom they feel was taken advantage of and is a victim. In reality, she was very much an active participant. I also am struggling to find support regarding this type of double betrayal. When a family dynamic is present, how does a betrayed spouse make such a difficult decision? Where is the support for family affairs? In EMSO we are discussing forgiveness. How can I forgive him for destroying my family, taking away my children’s relationship with my family, and forgive her, my godchild, that I was a mother figure to?

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