Q&A How to We Navigate Recovery with a History of Abuse?

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What are the prospects for the future of a couple when the unfaithful spouse has sexually abused the betrayed spouse for a long period of time? Before I even discovered his porn addiction, I was very depressed about the sexual abuse and had already admitted to myself that I would rather die than face a future with more of the same. It has been 6 months now since we separated. I am committed to becoming healthy, and am getting weekly counseling, doing the program, etc. I want very much for my husband to be free from his porn/sex addiction and be healthy too. I still care about him, and feel sad for him. But the thought of ever living in the same house again with him produces debilitating anxiety attacks in me! Most of my children have made it plain to me they do not want my husband back in the picture, ever, and don't want him around their children. Some of them have said that if I go back to him, they will regretfully limit contact with me. He seems to be making some progress, and I've committed to waiting to see what healing God will do in him, in me and in them. Yet, it seems like insanity to move toward a close, personal relationship with him when I'm terrified of being abused again, and will have to accept distancing from my children if I do. I'd like to know if other betrayed spouses have overcome the effects of abuse and were able to have a marriage relationship with their unfaithful spouse.



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