Q&A If Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater, How do I Feel Safe?

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Hi, Rick -- We are just a couple of weeks into EMS Online, and so far, it's wonderful. My only problem is that it's helping us process the past, not the present or the future. If you're the type of person who has it in you to lie, cheat, betray, and deceive (over a period of years in my case, though I discovered it all at once), then that's who you are -- the capability to behave that way is in you -- and processing past infidelity doesn't change that about you. So I feel a little down. Because as helpful as EMS Online can be, if it does what it promises, then all we will have done is processed past infidelity. I don't want to minimize that, because that's a huge thing. But it won't have changed the sex and love addict I apparently married, and it doesn't feel like it will change the fundamental capacity for present or future deceit. The thought of that is profoundly depressing. Any words of wisdom or encouragement? Is there anything you can recommend that will help us in our day-to-day interaction in terms of establishing safety and building trust and intimacy? Some concrete suggestions would really help. Thank you.



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