Q&A Is It Possible to Delude Oneself into Believing an Affair Wasn’t Emotional as a Means of Self Protection?

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Question: 

My husband had a year long affair with a fellow youth volunteer. They both said, “I love you” verbally and wrote it in holiday cards. He says they both knew then that it wasn’t real love, just superficial, infatuation. He says this was just a year long cheap thrill and they both knew it. The affair analyzer said it was a careless mistake that didn’t mean anything. I’m struggling with how he could tell her and write to her that he loved her if it truly was a cheap thrill. Is it possible to delude oneself into believing an affair wasn’t emotional as a means of self protection? Should he talk with a professional to sort this out after we finish EMS Online? It feels like a hurdle I’m going to have a hard time getting over.

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