Q&A Is a Marriage Devoid of Sexual Intimacy Doomed?

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Question: 

My husband's affair lasted 4 years. We are 16 months from D-Day and since then our sex life has come to a screeching halt. During the affair our intimacy was sporadic, as I couldn't stand making love to a man who was always drunk. But he's sober now and faithfully working a 12 step program. Now he has ED, and absolutely no desire or interest in sex with me whatsoever. You'd think it would be me with the problem of intrusive thoughts, which I do suffer from, but I still long for the closeness of love making. I touch him and he pushes me away, saying some of the things I've said to him in the past about his affair have stayed in his head and he can't be intimate with me. Do you think that's real? He recently had a physical and is totally healthy. His urologist prescribed Cialis, as Viagra wasn't doing the trick. He hasn't filled the prescription though. Keeps saying he'll get around to it. All of this makes me feel unwanted, unattractive, unloved and as though he is pining for the sex he had with his affair partner. Right after D-Day, he actually told me that sex with her was the best he'd ever had in his life. Imagine saying that to a wife you wanted to keep! To this day, those words still haunt me. He's 59, we've been together 34 years. The AP and I are the same age, so it's not a younger woman thing. I don't look my age, and I am still considered beautiful. I keep myself up and my hygiene is excellent. Anne Bercht from Beyond Affairs says that a marriage devoid of sexual intimacy is doomed. Do you believe this as well?

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