Q&A Should We Get a New Counselor?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


My husband and I are in marriage counseling. He had a 4 year affair and we are 13 months out of D-day #1 and 5 months from D-day #2 (where he finally told the whole truth). I am beginning to think our therapist is not trained in affair recovery, even though he says he specializes in infidelity. Lately he has been showing some contempt for me. I have been traumatized by this affair and still have such pain and anger. 2 months ago, the therapist asked me why we were still in therapy talking about the affair. I had to defend still feeling the need to process this. He hasn't helped us understand any of this, get through our anger and pain, or stabilize our relationship. He thinks we need to do more things together, and be more lovable to each other. He lectures us on how to act with each other. Last week, after we told him about a misunderstanding we'd had over the weekend, he very aggressively yelled at me to shut up. Not once, but twice. I left and sat in the car. My husband stayed and didn't defend me. I feel betrayed by him yet again.Where is his loyalty to me? It seems to me that he showed our counselor that it was ok to disrespect me. Am I being too sensitive? I want a new counselor, but my husband doesn't want to start all over with someone new.



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas