Q&A Was the Affair a Result of Childhood Abuse?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.

Question: 

My husband was both physically and sexually abused as a child. He grew up thinking his needs and wants didn't matter and that he needed to please people or else he would be hurt. His AP was a woman he worked with during the affair that has aggressively pursued him for 20 years. The affair during our marriage was 4 years long, but he had been physical a few times with her many years before. He claims there was no limerence; that he never thought of her romantically and that she smelled and wasn't attractive to him, and she annoyed him at times. He says they were only physical a handful of times over the four years, mostly when they had been drinking at a bar after work and she pursued him physically, and he felt I was upset with him at the time. He said it always made him feel guilty and dirty, and he succumbed to her pressures so that she would continue giving him business advice. And yet he sent her pictures of his appendage and sexted with her from time to time. This doesn't seem like the typical affair, and I am having a hard time determining if it is indeed an uncommon manifestation resultant of his childhood abuse, or if he is just trying to downplay it to spare my feelings, or play victim so he can be in denial. Thoughts?

Sections: 

RL_Category: 

RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
head-silhouette
 
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas