Q&A What Does Moving Forward a Year Later Look Like?

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Question: 

We have been married 20 years. My wife has a Type A personality and I have a Type B personality. It has been 11 months since D-Day. Over the past month my wife has fallen into a sense of entitlement and intolerance. She has mentioned that she feels that we should be further along in our recovery and says, “These conversations are wearing me down. It’s like it’s the same thing over and over again. It has been almost year. I shouldn’t feel guilt or shame.” For example, she goes to lunch with coworkers without a heads up and says she doesn’t always have time to tell what I she is doing. She feels that she shouldn’t have to consider me in her thought process in these instances and says, “I don’t know want else to do. I don’t want to have to live under a microscope anymore. I just want to be happy. I want things to get back to normal”. These statements from her and her actions are compounding and drawing us apart. She is conflicted, wants freedom, understands the trauma from the affair that still struggle with, sorry for what she did, loves me dearly, and doesn’t want to end in divorce. We both truly love each other but she is wants to put this phase of our life behind us. I am still dealing with trauma, trust issues, and can’t heal that fast. I fear that despite our love for each other a wedge being driven between us. Please, what is happening, can you help?

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