Q&A What Should the Expectations Be for Long Separations?

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My husband and I have been "trying" to recover for over two and a half years, and I say trying loosely, because I was trying for 9 months, while he was still communicating with his last affair partner unbeknownst to me... There have been multiple D-Days, and (possibly 8 AP’s?) all of which I had to discover... not been any disclosure by him, most recent D-Day, September 25th. We recently completed EMSO and during that course we have determined that he is probably a sex addict & I am most likely suffering from PTSD. He is active duty military and is often sent away for trainings and is currently looking at a possible year-long deployment. He is trying to be sober, but is still in addict mode some of the time and blaming me for his acting out with excuses like "we are not having enough sex" or, "you are so negative, I need to feel better somehow". What do you recommend for long separations with a sex addict, for example, what kind of boundaries and expectations of sobriety should there be?



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