Q&A What Should We Discuss When We Check-In with Each Other?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


Weekly check-in meetings - what do we discuss? We are about 3.5 months out from D-Day. We have completed Bootcamp and I'm currently in week 2 of Harboring Hope. We've been in couples counseling prior to D-Day and continued for about a month after D-Day. At that point, my spouse refused to see a counselor anymore. He is also not currently open to the idea of EMS, EMSO, or HFH. In fact, he says he wants no outside support with his recovery, that it is going to take time, and he can't be forced to do something. My spouse remains in the house, and his actions indicate that he is committed to working on the marriage. We've made a commitment to weekly check-in meetings, but due to other trauma events, we haven't met yet. I'd like to broach the topic of meeting this week, getting a routine started, but I don't know what to discuss when we meet. Without some kind of guidance like we had in Bootcamp, I feel lost in trying to start the conversation and help guide it. Communication has been our issue all along - both of us withdrawing from each other with our feelings - and was the main cause of our vulnerability. I feel like we need to restore an emotional connection, but I don't know how. Any advice on how to further our connection and conversation?



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas