Q&A What Should We Discuss When We Check-In with Each Other?

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Question: 

Weekly check-in meetings - what do we discuss? We are about 3.5 months out from D-Day. We have completed Bootcamp and I'm currently in week 2 of Harboring Hope. We've been in couples counseling prior to D-Day and continued for about a month after D-Day. At that point, my spouse refused to see a counselor anymore. He is also not currently open to the idea of EMS, EMSO, or HFH. In fact, he says he wants no outside support with his recovery, that it is going to take time, and he can't be forced to do something. My spouse remains in the house, and his actions indicate that he is committed to working on the marriage. We've made a commitment to weekly check-in meetings, but due to other trauma events, we haven't met yet. I'd like to broach the topic of meeting this week, getting a routine started, but I don't know what to discuss when we meet. Without some kind of guidance like we had in Bootcamp, I feel lost in trying to start the conversation and help guide it. Communication has been our issue all along - both of us withdrawing from each other with our feelings - and was the main cause of our vulnerability. I feel like we need to restore an emotional connection, but I don't know how. Any advice on how to further our connection and conversation?

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