Q&A Where Was My Husband's Self Respect during the Affair?

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My husband's 1 year affair with his co-worker, also married, was less than ideal. It started out as a friendship, then blossomed into an emotional and finally a physical affair. The affair ended January, 2017. He did share some things with me about their relationship and some details I heard elsewhere. My husband certainly was the one who was more "all in" than she was and he told me multiple times that he loved her. Once I and her husband found out, about 7-8 months into it, the dynamic of their relationship got even worse. It was an emotional roller coaster. They fought a lot, she could be very demanding and she actually chose spending time with her husband over mine many times so my husband basically was settling for crumbs. Toward the end of the affair she was essentially dating both of them and my husband seemed to be ok with that. She was even sleeping with both of them, telling my husband that there was nothing physical between her and her husband but I could tell that deep down my husband didn't believe it and was bothered by it. Our relationship was nothing like that. We alway treated each other with love and respect. Where was my husband's self-respect? Why would he be willing to put up with all of that? Especially since my husband has described me as being the nicest person he has ever met. I'm perplexed.



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