Q&A Who Would Want to be Empathetic Toward Their Spouse if They Had an Affair?

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Question: 

Hi Rick, Lately I have been feeling very angry and upset over my husband's affair and the damage that was caused. I struggle with empathy when it comes to my spouse. It's not that I don't understand the pain, hurt and what he lost, but rather the why would I want to. Why would I want to try to understand someone that has caused so much pain, hurt and discontent? Isn't that like trying to have empathy for someone who has murdered a family member? My vows were murdered, so why should I be empathetic to my husband when he didn't want to understand what those vows meant to me?

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