Q&A Would it be Better Without Me?

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Dear Rick,

My wife is a child abuse survivor that included physical sexual and mental abuse. She dealt with these issues many years ago and it gave her a compassion for others that was amazing. i think I destroyed all of that. Since d-day a little over two years ago she has been a mess. The strong confidant woman is now insecure and says she feels totally empty on the inside. She has been diagnosed with PTSD. She has done some EMDR but gave up because she said it made her feel worse. The therapist says that the trauma of discovery ripped open the trauma from her childhood.

I don't know what to do to help her. I destroyed the most amazing woman I have ever known and it is killing me to watch her struggle and know that I did this. The good days are really good but the bad days are horrible and sometimes a trigger can spiral into a couple of days of her crying and barely functioning. I feel so guilty for what I have done. She says she wants to continue to work on our marriage and to not give up but sometimes I think me being with her is more painful than if we just divorced. Any suggestions would be appreciated.



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