"When you are standing in [a] forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope." ~ Elizabeth Gilbert
Initially, after learning the full truth of my husband's infidelity, everything felt tainted, dark, lifeless, and just meaningless. I saw him as a person who...
How Could You? A Six Part Series on Why We Commit Betrayal with Infidelity
Part 1: Why We Commit Betrayal With Infidelity Part 2: The Thought Processes That Lead to Betrayal Part 3: Moral Justifications Part 4: Doublespeak and Distorted Comparisons Part 5: The Secrecy Factor Part 6: Dehumanization and Blame
Join other betrayed mates on the path to healing with our life-changing Harboring Hope online course and start a better, brighter chapter.
Continue Your Healing With EMS Online! Registration Opens Soon.
Our Emergency Marital Seminar Online, better known as EMSO, isn't a one-size-fits-all program for couples. Over decades of experience exclusively in the field of infidelity, our methodology has been honed to better serve couples...
Consider joining Hope for Healing where you'll find community for isolation and healing for shame —and that's just the beginning.
Ever done something you're really ashamed of?
Not just a mistake but...
When it comes to infidelity, the mental gymnastics that must first be employed before the actual betrayal happens is significant.
This week, we'll explore the first of these cognitive distortions: Moral Justification.
One approach to violating one's beliefs of right and...
Dr. Dan Siegel introduced a phrase to help trauma survivors self-soothe entitled "Name it to tame it." It's vital we honestly name our emotions if we're going to find clarity, healing and ultimately self-compassion. The phrase isn't limited to self-soothing but also to helping our betrayed and unfaithful partners when they flood or are feeling immense triggers. While our own mental health is our responsibility, we can also use 'trauma-informed' keys to help others find healing. Survivors of infidelity and/or addiction are frequently bombarded by emotional upheaval, so finding a tool to help those in crisis is essential. "Name It to Tame It" is just that tool with life changing implications.
Understanding red flags in the life of the unfaithful spouse or partner serves two purposes. One, it can help the unfaithful understand how they are being perceived by their partner (and professionals) and assist them in understanding how their behavior is impacting their betrayed partner. Two, it can help the betrayed understand that what may seem like normal, usual behavior in both the marriage as well as the unfaithful partner is not normal at all. In fact, it can be alarming and indicative of significant issues in the life of the unfaithful which must be addressed in order for the relationship to find new life. Today, Samuel outlines a few key red flags in an attempt to help both sides of the affair find healing, compassion and new life...
Hope for Healing Registration Soon! Space Is Limited!
Designed specifically for wayward spouses, Hope for Healing is a supportive, nonjudgmental environment for you to heal and develop empathy. Over the years, this 17-week, small group course has helped thousands of people...
"I don't even know who I am anymore" is one of the most common statements shared in therapeutic sessions after a spouse endeavors to heal from infidelity. They feel like they're losing themselves, or worse, have already lost themselves giving way to bouts of almost uncontrollable rage, anger and life changing trauma. The truth is, they just may be losing a version of themselves that needs to be grieved, buried and moved on from. Today Samuel shares a gritty yet compassionate discussion on how to find hope and healing again after infidelity, while discovering a new version of ourselves that just may be one of the biggest surprises of our lives.
After an affair, the lives of both the unfaithful and the betrayed are seldom ever the same. It can feel as though that version of themselves is gone forever and they're left without any hope of returning to who they were before the affair. Attempting to go back to one's old life after disclosure can feel impossible while trying to accept this new identity can also feel unreachable. Without a guide and without a plan, those in crisis can feel disoriented and lost, oftentimes succumbing to the temptation to lie down and give up. However, new life is always possible and new joy is attainable. Listen in as Samuel shares pivotal insight into finding new life as an unfaithful or betrayed.
