Samuel shares part one of why humility and honesty must be present in recovery.
Samuel shares examples of some of the worst things to do in the recovery process.
Samuel shares why spouses absolutely need the right support to heal.
Frequently in marital conflict, it’s not the topic of our conversations that cause the problem; it’s the contempt or disrespect that’s communicated through stonewalling. When trying to survive infidelity, emotions run high, neither party feels cared for or valued by their partner and the chaos seems insurmountable.
After 35 years of helping couples in crisis due to infidelity, I have found that shutting each other down by refusing to communicate only makes things worse.
If you’re the one courageous enough to bring up the topic, begin by taking an honest look at yourself and how your approach to communicating with your mate has possibly lacked respect. Are you willing to admit that maybe how you’ve spoken to your mate hasn’t always been the most beneficial? If so, bring up the topic of communication by first asking if they’d be willing to have a conversation about...
Samuel discusses a sensitive pitfall for couples seeking recovery.
Samuel tackles the pivotal question unfaithful spouses struggle with.
A few years ago, we did a “Barriers to Communication” Survey. We were overwhelmed by the response, leaving us with scads of information for future articles and program development. The #1 barrier to communication identified by couples impacted by infidelity was stonewalling, followed by anger.
While anger comes as no surprise given the devastation created by betrayal, I didn’t expect stonewalling to come in first (and by quite a majority too).
Stonewalling is a total refusal to listen to, respond to or accept influence from your mate. If ever there was a time communication is critical, it’s during the crisis of infidelity.
Stonewalling doesn’t necessarily end at refusal to speak or listen to your mate; it can also be listening with contempt or total distain.
If you’re dealing with a ‘Stonewaller,’ you’ve probably heard statements like the following: ...
Samuel continues the discussion on the unfaithful spouse's journey of dealing with self rejection.
Samuel shares practical insight to help unfaithful spouses care for their traumatized mate.
Functioning and participating in everyday life is one of the toughest things for a betrayed spouse to do after discovery of infidelity. The future can seem completely uncertain, reminders and triggers are off the chart, anger continuously stalks them and we feel as if we don't have what it takes to make it. Often times we can also feel alone and painfully desperate, searching for not only answers, but peace of mind. Today I've provided three videos for you to preview from three separate areas of our website: private Harboring Hope Q...
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